She's Everything
by tjmack
Summary: Matt let his pride get in the way and has ended the best relationship he's ever had. Now he realizes Emily's the only woman he ever wants to be with. But is it too late for them?
1. She's Everything

She's Everything

**A/N: This fic is slightly AU, also as of now it's a one shot...but if you want more just say the word...**

Matt beat his steering wheel. He was already ten minutes late, and now he was stuck in traffic. Could the day be any worse, oh yeah, that's right, he almost forgot. He broke up with Emily last night. Why because his pride was hurt. Damn him and his stupid pride. In fact that was the reason he was running late anyways. He couldn't sleep at all the night before, she haunted his dreams. He flipped the radio on.

"DAMMIT," Matt screamed, as a song played that did nothing but remind him of Emily.

She's a soft place to land  
And a good feeling knowing  
She's a warm conversation  
That I wouldn't miss for nothing  
She's a fighter when she's mad  
And she's a lover when she's loving

Tears formed in the corners of Matt's eyes. He reached for the dial, but he couldn't turn it.

She's a bubble bath and candles  
Baby come and kiss me  
She's a one glass of wine  
And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be  
And the stealer of the covers  
She's a picture in my wallet  
Of my unborn children's mother  
She's the hand that I'm holding  
When I'm on my knees and praying  
She's the answer to my prayer  
And she's the song that I'm playing

Tears falling freely from his eyes. He swiped at them violently. 'Why did I do this. Why did I have to hurt her' he thought to himself. 'Why can't I just move on' his thoughts continued.

She's the voice I love to hear  
Someday when I'm ninety  
She's that wooden rocking chair  
I want rocking right beside me  
Everyday that passes  
I only love her more  
Yeah, she's the one  
That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted  
And everything I need  
She's everything to me  
Yeah she's everything to me

Matt gasped, as it finally dawned on him. He wasn't just in love with Emily, he needed her, he wanted her. She literally was his everything, and he just let her slip through his fingers. His head fell against the steering wheel, as tears fell fast from his eyes. 'How could he have been so stupid' he thought.  
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Matt all but ran from the elevator to their shared cubeicale. When he got there, Emily wasn't there.

"Matt, you've been reasigned," Cheryl said, from behind him.

Matt jumped at her voice.

"What?" Matt said louder than he intended.

"Emily came to me this morning. She said she couldn't be your partner anymore," Cheryl said.

"Why wouldn't she have talked to me first," Matt said, more to himself.

"Matt, what happened? She was almost in tears when she was talking to me. I had to send her home for the day," Cheryl said.

"Home, as in like her home?" Matt asked.

"Yeah," Cheryl said, dumbfounded as to where he was headed with his line of questioning.

"Cheryl, I've gotta go," Matt said, as he took off toward the elevator.

Cheryl immediately knew what he was doing, and she smiled to herself. That man could ruin any relationship, but this was the first time he had to tried to fix one.  
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Matt picked up speed, taking side roads to by pass the traffic. 'Dammit' he cursed to himself. He zigzagged up and down different streets. He knew Emily, and that she sometimes does rash things when she's upset. He picked up his cell phone and hit speed dial one. It rang three times before the voice mail picked up. 'Damn voicemail' he cursed again.

"Hey you've reached Emily Lehman, leave me a message and I'll get back to you," Emily's voice said to him.

"Emily I know your hurting, and I know your pissed, but please wait at your house, we need to talk," Matt said, then hung up the phone.

He put the acclerator to the floor, and zoomed up and down a couple more streets, before he turned onto Emily's street. 'Please, please, just be there' Matt thought to himself.

He pulled into her driveway, and saw that her car was there. 'Good sign' he thought.

He got out of his car, and walked up the walkway, and stood in front of the door. He pulled out the key she gave him, and unlocked the door.

"Em," he called, as the house seemed to be empty.

"Emily," he called again, as he walked toward the kitchen.

He walked past the counter and saw a piece of paper. His stomach dropped, he didn't need to read it, he knew what it was.

Matt,

I need you to know that I didn't want this. I wanted you, and I still do, but I opened up to you. I told you I loved you, and by no means was it a lie. It wasn't and I do, but I haven't told a man I love him, ever. You took that for granted, you took me for granted. You broke my heart, and I'm sorry but I cannot forgive that. I hope you will move on from this, and from me.

Emily

Tears cascaded down his face. He was to late, and she was gone.


	2. Help Me Make It Through The Night

Chapter Two: Help Me Make It Through The Night

Matt got up from the couch, where he had collasped, after reading her note. She had left, she didn't even let him explain. He wanted to hate her for giving up so easily, for just walking out and leaving, but his heart refused. He grabbed his keys from the counter, and walked out the door, her note still firmly grasped in his hand. He was going to find her, he wasn't about to let her give up that easily.

Matt grabbed his cell phone from the holder in his car, and dialed a familiar number.

"Mathers," Lia answered.

"Lia it's Matt, I need to know something," Matt said.

"What's that?" Lia asked, confused as to what Matt needed.

"Did you know Emily as leaving?" Matt asked.

Lia had known that Emily had been upset. She knew they're relationship had fallen out, but she never figured Emily for the run from her problems type.

"No, I swear," Lia said, truthfully.

"I need you to help me find her," Matt said.

"Matt, Cheryl needs you to come in, she's about ready to call you," Lia said, knowing that was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"I don't give a damn, I gotta find Em," Matt said, not meaning to yell at Lia.

"Matt, you could lose your job," Lia said, in almost a whisper.

"That doesn't matter, nothing matters, not without Em," Matt said, biting back tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"Okay, do you know anywhere she might be?" Lia asked, knowing she was risking her job as well.

"No, all she left was a letter," Matt said.

"Well do you think that she would go back to New York?" Lia asked.

"I don't know, she said that she had thought about it, before she got transfered to LA," Matt said.

"Matt, that's your best lead. I'll try and help you the best that I can, but if Cheryl finds out," Matt interrupted her.

"I'll take the heat. Lia, thanks," Matt said.

"No problem Matt," Lia said.

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Matt stepped on the acceloator, after finding out that there was a flight leaving LAX in less than an hour, headed to New York. He flipped on the stereo, and found that once again, someone was angry with him.

Yesterday is dead and gone  
And tomorrow's out of sight  
And it's sad to be alone  
Help me make it through the night

A tear slipped down his cheek, the song was true to every form of the word, but he didn't just want anyone to help him. He wanted Emily, he needed Emily, she was the love of his life.

Yesterday is dead and gone  
And tomorrow's out of sight  
I don't wanna be alone  
Help me make it through the night

I don't wanna be alone  
Help me make it through the night

----------------------------------------------------

Matt got into his rented Jeep, and made a beeline for the 495 Freeway. He pulled his cell phone out and hit redial.

"Mathers," Lia answered, knowing who would be on the other end.

"I need Emily's parents address," Matt said.

"Okay," Lia said, knowing it useless to fight him on this.

"Does Cheryl suspect anything?" Matt asked.

"Not yet, but when you don't show up for work in the morning she will," Lia said.

"Don't worry, you won't get in trouble, I'll make sure of that," Matt said.

"1526 Hickory Drive, apparently they live in a large townhouse, just outside Albany," Lia said.

"Thanks Lia," Matt said.

"Yeah," Lia said, hanging up the phone.  
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An Hour Later

Matt pulled up outside her parents place. He just prayed she was there. He walked up the steep cobblestone steps, and reached the front door. He took a deep breath, before knocking on the door. After what seemed like an interinty, the door opened. Emily was the spitting image of her mouth. Same deep red hair, same hazel eyes, same slight wave in their hair. Same deep dimples when they smiled.

"Can I help you?" her mother asked, after a moment.

"Yeah, umm..names Matt Flannery and I'm looking for Emily Lehman," Matt said, he'd kick himself later for sounding so formal.

"She isn't here," her mother said.

"Has she been here?" Matt asked.

"She has," her mother said.

"Look Mrs. Lehman, can you tell me where she is?" Matt asked.

"I can, but I won't, I'm sorry, but I will not allow you to hurt my daughter again," her mother said slamming the door in his face.

He really needed to go about this differently.


	3. All Out Of Love

Chapter Three: All Out of Love  
Emily sat on the bed, in her hotel room. She felt bad about just leaving LA without talking to Matt, but her heart just couldn't go there. Not now, and frankly she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to go there. Her cell started to ring, and she figured it was Matt again. He had only called her cell phone twenty times in the last hour. It had been about that long since her mother had called her to inform her that Matt was not only in New York, but had visited the house.  
Her head fell into her hands, as tears rolled down her beat red cheeks. She had never cried so much over a man before but Matt was different. She loved him, she was in love with him. Her phone started to ring again, and she felt like throwing it against the wall, just to shut it up. She picked it up, and glanced at the caller ID. "Lia" she thought.  
"Hello?" Emily answered, glancing at the clock on the nightstand.  
"I cannot believe you left," Lia said.  
She hadn't planned on starting the conversation like that. Emily was a good friend, and she normally would have sided with her, but this time what she did was wrong.  
"I had to Lia, you don't get it. I've never been stuck in a situation, and I couldn't take it," Emily said a desperate sigh followed.  
"Emily, I do get it, Matt hurt you. That is understandable, but you did not see him today. You didn't hear him over the phone. You've really hurt him Emily, you've broken him. Which to be honest I thought was damn near impossible, but it's true," Lia said, trying to reason with her.  
"Look Lia, hearing stuff like that isn't helping," Emily said.  
"Good, call him or something, tell him to his face that it's over. He deserves that much Emily," Lia said.  
"He breaks up with me, he ends our relationship. I leave to get away from it, and he deserves for me to tell him it's over. I thought you were my friend Lia," Emily yelled.  
"I am your friend, that's why I'm doing this, and contrary to what you believe he is a good man," Lia said, wanting her friend to understand.  
"Well I guess I'm the bad person in this," Emily said, as she slammed the phone shut.  
Emily slammed the phone down on the nightstand, as she gripped one of the pillows in her arms, and let the tears stream down her face. Why did it have to be so hard, why did she have to still love him. Why did her heart ache to have him near her, and why couldn't she just forgive him.  
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"I've got her location Matt," Lia said.  
"Oh good, thanks Lia," Matt said.  
"You so owe me Matt," Lia said.  
"Guessing it didn't go so good," Matt said.  
"No, she's at the Fairfield Inn. It's located on Washington Avenue," Lia said.  
"Yeah got it," Matt said, as a small smile graced his lips.  
'Marriott' he thought.  
Matt picked up speed, and turned left on the next street. Washington Avenue was only ten blocks away. He was definitely getting close to getting her back.  
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Emily sat with her back against the headboard. She picked up the room service menu, she definitely didn't feel like going out tonight, and flipped through it. A small smile graced her lips when she saw the Chicken Fajitas. That was what her and Matt ordered every time they stayed at the Marriott. She picked up the telephone sitting on the nightstand, and pushed the apporiate numbers in.  
"Room Service, can I take your order?" a young man answered.  
"Yeah, I'd like an order of the Chicken Fajitas and a Light Beer please," Emily said.  
"Okay, that'll be about fifteen or twenty minutes," the man said.  
"Okay," Emily said, as she hung up the phone.  
She lowered herself, slightly in the bed, and closed her eyes. She was immediately haunted by the man she left behind. His gorgeous brown eyes, his wavy black hair. She opened her eyes, and flipped on the stereo that sat on the nightstand, and flipped through a few channels till she found a song she liked. She layed her head back on the headboard, and took in the words. Shortly there after the song ended, and the next one began.

_I'm lyin' alone with my head on the phone Thinkin' of you 'til it hurts I know you hurt too, But what else can we do? Tormented and torn apart I wish I could carry your smile in my heart, For times when my life seems so low_

_  
I'm all out of love I'm so lost without you I know you were right Believing for so long I'm all out of love, What am I without you? I can't be too late To say that I was so wrong_

Emily sighed, and switched off the stereo, she definitely could not handle that right now.  
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Matt could almost feel her touch, he was only two blocks away. He switched the radio station after some rap came on. He really didn't get how they called that music, but whatever. He was once again haunted with a song that only reminded him of Emily.

_And what would you say if I call on you now, And say that I can't hold on? There's no easy way, It gets harder each day Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone  
I'm all out of love I'm so lost without you I know you were right Believing for so long I'm all out of love, What am I without you? I can't be too late To say that I was so wrong_

Matt wiped at a couple of tears that threatened to fall, and pulled onto Washington Avenue. He'd hold her soon enough. He'd tell her how stupid he was, and how his heart was aching with her.  
He spotted the hotel from about three quarters of a mile down the road. He pulled into the closes parking garage, and decided the fresh air would do him good. He walked with contentment, as a man on a mission to get somewhere.  
He finally reached the hotel, and walked the three large steps to the door. He entered the rather large building, and walked up to the counter.  
"Can I help you?" a young lady, not much older than eighteen asked.  
"Yes, I need to know what room Emily Lehman is staying in," Matt said.  
"I cannot give out information on the costumers of this establishment," the young lady said.  
Matt figured that would be the answer he'd receive, so he devised a plan.  
"I'm a federal agent, I need to speak to Emily Lehman, and you need to give me her room number," Matt said.  
"Okay, but I've got to call her to allow her notice that a visitor is coming," the young lady said.  
"No, that will give her time to leave," Matt said, speaking truthfully.  
"Okay sir, she's in room 518," the young girl said.  
"Okay," Matt said, as he turned to leave.  
"Umm..sir, you should know she ordered room service, ummm..." the girl paused to look at the order form. "Chicken Fajitas, it looks like."  
"Okay thanks," Matt said, walking toward the elevator.  
Once safely in the elevator he let a smile grace his lips. That was they're meal of choice most nights, when staying at a hotel. The elevator dinged a short time later, and Matt walked out, and searched the halls, looking for room 518. He spotted it, and his plams instantly got clammy. She was the only woman that could make him feel like he was in high school again.  
He stood at the door for a second, building up the courage to knock. Finally it came, and he knocked lightly.  
"Who is it?" he heard her ask.  
"Room Service," he said trying to disguise his voice.  
He heard her walking toward the door, and soon after, heard the door open. There they were, standing face to face. Tears in both of they're eyes. All Matt wanted was to kiss away her tears, and all Emily wanted was for him to go away. For her aching heart to leave with him.


	4. You Had Me From Hello

Chapter Four: You Had Me From Hello

Matt stood staring back at Emily, his heart beating a thousand times a minute.

"Matt, how did...what are...," Emily started but no coherent words would come out of her mouth.

"Emily, can I come in, we need to talk," Matt said.

"I don't...I can't...sure," Emily said, giving in to trying to form words.

Matt walked in and sat down on the chair, opposite the bed. He rubbed his hands together nervously before he looked up to begin talking.

Emily loved how when Matt was nervous, he would rub his hands together. He always looked deep in thought.

"Em, I don't know how we got so far off course. This, this is not how I saw our relationship going. I never wanted this, not really," Matt said, as he ran his hand through his hair.

"If you didn't want it like this, then why did you end it," Emily said, her anger growing.

"Because of my stupid pride. I wanted you to be with me, and when you weren't, it hurt," Matt said, as he got up and started to pace.

"You were hurt, you. How do you think I felt. Do you think I felt good?" Emily said, nearly screaming at him.

"No, I never said that, you asked me why I did it. Not that it's a good reason, but it's the truth," Matt said, as he quickly swiped at his eyes.

"Look, this just isn't going to work. I'm going to talk to Cheryl about resigning me to New York. We need distance and lots of it," Emily said, as she sat down on the bed, her back to Matt.

He looked down at the stereo that was sitting in front of him. It had been driving him crazy, all the songs that reminded him of Emily, but now that's what he needed. He switched it on, and tears immeditately hit the back of his eyes, as his eyes met Emily's. It was there song, it just happened to be the song that was playing the first time they made love. It also happened to be a song that fit them, and they're relationship so well.

"Em, dance with me," Matt said.

"Dance with you?" Emily questioned completely confused. Matt didn't dance, he hadn't even asked her to dance once since they'd been together.

"Yes, please," he all but begged.

"Fine," Emily threw her hands up in defeat.

Matt grabbed her hand in his, and placed his other one, on her hip, as he pulled her into his body. His mind going back to the first time they had heard this song together.

_Beginning of Flashback_

_"Matt, maybe we shouldn't have," Emily said, as they're breathing slowed._

_"Em, it was bound to happen. Your hot, I'm hot, it's like we're two peas in a pod," Matt said, earning a smile, and a smack._

_"It's just, what if Cheryl finds out," Emily said, finding comfort, in beening held in Matt's strong arms._

_"She won't we'll keep it between us," Matt said, as he flipped on the stereo._

_One word, that's all was said  
Something in your voice called me, turned my head  
Your smile captured me, you were in my future as far as I could see  
And I don't know how it happened, but it happens still  
You ask me if I love you, if I always will_

Well, you had me from 'Hello'  
I felt love start to grow the moment I looked into your eyes  
You won me, it was over from the start  
You completely stole my heart, and now you won't let go  
I never even had a chance you know  
You had me from "Hello"

_Matt instantly knew that this song would signify the bond between the two of them. No matter how much they said it was just sex, the night before, Matt knew it was so much more than that._

_End of Flashback_

Emily shifted herself just a little bit in his arms. It felt so good to be held by him again. Her body had ached the night before, from lack of his touch. Her mind took her back to they're first night together.

_Beginning of Flashback_

_"Matt I'm not in the mood for music," Emily whined, before she heard the words._

_"Oh, well then I guess I know what your in the mood for," Matt said, as he assualted her body with kisses._

_Emily sat completely still under him, letting the song truly sink in. As a tear fell from her eye, she knew this song would remind her of the love she felt in her heart for Matt Flannery. _

_Inside I built a wall so high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall  
One touch, you brought it down  
Bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground  
And I swore to me that I wasn't going to love again  
The last time was the last time I'd let someone in_

Well, you had me from 'Hello'  
I felt love start to grow the moment I looked into your eyes  
You won me, it was over from the start  
You completely stole my heart, and now you wont let go  
I never even had a chance you know  
You had me from 'Hello'

_End of Flashback_

Emily pulled back from his embrace, as tears trickled slowly down her face. She just wanted him to leave, and take all her heart ache with him.

Matt placed his finger on her cheek, and caressed away some of the tears. He gave her a weak smile, before pulling her in a soft passionate kiss. At first Emily pulled away, before giving in. Matt ran his tongue along Emily's bottom lip, asking for premission to enter. She hestiated, but soon gave him the permission he was seeking. They let they're tongues explore each others mouths, as if they'd never kissed before. After a few minutes they both pulled away, both equally breathless.

"Matt I can't do this," Emily finally said, opening her hotel room door.

Matt sat down in the chair, refusing to go. Tears streaming down his face, he refused to lose her. He refused to give in.

"Matt please," Emily begged him.

"No, I won't let you decide both of our futures. I know we can work this out. We have to. I cannot survive without you. I can't live without you," Matt said.

Emily's heart broke all over again. She hated seeing what she was doing to him. She just didn't think she was willing, or that she could give him her heart again. She was to afraid he'd break it again.

"Em, please," Matt said, his head falling into his hands.

"Matt I just," Emily started but Matt intrrupted her.

"I won't hear that you can't do it. You can, I promise you that I will do everything humanly possible to protect your heart," Matt said, tears falling faster by the minute.

"I'm sorry, I just can't," Emily said.

Matt felt his stomach churn, as bile rose up into his throat. He couldn't take this, he couldn't let her give up on them. He got up and walked in the bathroom, and puked. Then he sat down on the toilet, what had he done that couldn't be fixed. He asked himself over and over again. 


	5. More Than Words

**Okay To bits of Info...One...I apologize for the shortness...Two...This is the last chapter...okay please enjoy...and if you could...hit that little purple button at the bottom of the page...and leave me a little review. Oh also I don't own any of the songs I've used in my chapters...I also don't own standoff...Fox does...blah..blah...blah**

Chapter Five: More Than Words

Matt heard Emily changing the radio stations. She stopped almost immediately, and after a few seconds Matt knew why. One of her favorite songs was playing on the radio, he had never really listened to it before, but since he didn't have anything better to do, he decided what the hell. He immediately noticed that it was like this song, was talking to him, telling him how to fix his relationship.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?  
More than words to show you feel  
That your love for me is real  
What would you say if I took those words away?  
Then you couldn't make things new  
Just by saying I love you

_More than words..._

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand  
All you have to do is close your eyes  
And just reach out your hands and touch me  
Hold me close don't ever let me go  
More than words is all I ever needed you to show  
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me  
'Cause I'd already know

Matt stood up from the toliet, and gain his composure and courage, and opened the bathroom door. He walked up to Emily, whose back was turned to him, and he spun her around. He crashed his lips into her's, his tongue exploring her mouth. He held her close, and slowly lessened the kiss, until he fully broke away.

"Emily Rose Lehman, I love you with all of my heart. My whole body aches when I'm not with you. When I am with you, I just have to be close to you, because if I'm not then my body starts to shake. I have to have you, I have to be near you. Emily please don't give up on use, not without giving us a fair shot. Not without giving us a second chance. I know I screw us up, and I'm sorry. My heart broke into pieces when I read your note. Just the thought of not being near you, made me feel like my life was over. If you move out here, that's what my life will be, over, because I cannot function without you. You are the love of my life," Matt said, tears streaming down his face.

Emily couldn't look him in the eyes. He had just shared all of his inner feelings, and she knew nothing she could say would top that. The end of the song playing, and Emily knew what she needed to do.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?  
More than words to show you feel  
That your love for me is real  
What would you say if I took those words away?  
Then you couldn't make things new  
Just by saying I love you

More than words...

Emily pressed her lips firmly to Matt's, and pulled him closer, and pushed him down on the bed. Now it was her to turn to apologize.  
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Emily laid her head contently on Matt's chest. She felt so calm, and safe in his arms, like her life made sense again.

"Em," Matt said, wondering if she was asleep.

"Mmmm," she said.

"I love you so much Em," Matt said, as he pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

Emily moved just enough to look in his eyes, "I love you too Matthew Ryan Flannery."

Matt softly kissed her lips, and put his arms tigher around her body. She sighed in comtentment. Matt laid like this until he heard her breathing slow. He knew she had fallen asleep, and soon after so did he.


End file.
